lightless

2012-02-10T13:48:00.000+08:00

i think, every now and then, we all need to cry. even if there is nothing sad in particular that happened to us or people around us, we need to shed some tears. just a proof that we are still human. which is why, sometimes i find crying comforting. sometimes i watch sad stories on purpose just to cry. tears to me are a proof that i am here, still alive.

for nadiaho

2012-02-05T01:18:00.000+08:00

mou hatachi, mou otona
ichiban no seijinmono
otona no nadiaho ni kitaido batsugun
tanjoubi omedetou ♥

2012-01-31T01:15:00.000+08:00

Several days ago, on 23rd January to be exact, I let a dear friend of mine read my then fresh-out-of-the-oven work. Although I personally am proud of that particular one, and think that it is my best work yet, I didn't have the confidence of hearing people's comments and criticism. Then, she told me that she really likes it, and that it almost made her cry. She read it over and over, and she also spread it to her friends. Afterwards, she told me one thing that not even one person has ever said to me. She told me, from that moment on, she is my fan.

Being someone's fan means that you believe in that person.

She believes in me, in my potential.

we're the one eternally

2012-01-31T00:46:00.001+08:00

I used to think that the sky and earth were near each other. So I used to think that, no matter where I was, the people within my heart were never that far from me because we were living under the same sky and walking on the same earth. I wasn't even lonely. For the first time, for some odd reason, I find myself feeling lonesome, as if I am watching my shadow getting uncontrollably farther away from me with the setting sun.

World, tell me that isn't true.

But because there is the light of the singing sun, I tell myself over and over again, "I'm okay. I'm okay." Though I can't see, I can hear it. And I can feel it. We understand and love each other.

- JJ

for a thousand years

2011-12-25T05:41:00.000+08:00

:')

2011-12-21T18:59:00.000+08:00

I know I will regret this later if I do it now, but sometimes I wish that I can just drop out from here and go work at some cafes while taking proper languages classes, gaining the experiences and knowledge that I'm looking for.

jellyboy's words

2011-12-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

As someone who majors in English, the question whether I'm going to be a teacher is asked very often. My mom suggested that I should be one, as well. I have nothing against English teachers. In fact, I have some of my own favourites. However, I have never thought that teaching is for me.

Recently, I got to know this quite-famous-but-still-not-that-famous person. He is a part-time ESL teacher in Korea. Without really expecting a reply, I e-mailed him, asking for his opinion. And he replied!

I'm not going to retype everything he told me, but basically, he said in the end it's up to me, because teaching needs passion. He said teaching is not really his thing, but he's doing it for experience, and of course, money.

What am I trying to convey here. Hmm.

Well, to be completely honest, I just wanted to show off that he actually replied my e-mail. Not that you know who he is though. But still, his advices are good.

I'm considering.

2011-12-19T04:48:00.001+08:00

Isn't it amazing how much a small thing can play a huge part in your life?

A few years back, at a Pay Less Books warehouse sale, I came across this book. The cover and the title attracted me. I picked it up, turned it over to read the synopsis, and decided to buy it right away.

But since at that time, I had a little too many books, my mother told me to leave a few. I looked at the book and wondered whether I should put it down.

I didn't.

That book, has actually changed my life. As cheesy as it sounds, that book became quite a turning point in my life. Not that it was the greatest story or a remarkable autobiography of someone amazing, but it was just a simple love story.

That book, became a reason why I picked up my pencil and started writing again.

That book, is the reason why I have written so much today, for it has become a part of me.

That book, is the reason why I can dream the impossible dreams now. Not that I want to become a professional writer.

Thank you, Mary E. Pearson. One more book, and my collection of your works will be complete.

2011-12-17T20:24:00.000+08:00

You would, sooner or later, or even now, have one or more photos that you really like. That photo doesn't have to be a photo where you look your best, or a photo taken at a place that you love, but that photo can be just a simple photo of you where you look normal, or even horrible.

I do have several photos that I really treasure. One of them, is the display picture that I have on this blog currently.

2011-12-13T02:48:00.000+08:00

Recently I finally realized the reason why this something happened and changed our lives after five years it took place. It was because we were, and still are, very similar to each other.

Have you ever learned a truth so funny that it saddens you?

2011-12-08T17:29:00.000+08:00

imagine and dream

then the world will change to how you want it to be

- WH

tomorrow, nay

2011-11-30T22:19:00.001+08:00

long black hair tucked in a bun. a tiara on top.

a shy smile hiding behind the veil.

face blushing with happiness.

"i look gorgeous today. promise."

giggles as if there was no more tomorrow.

running, running.

"i love you."

door opened.

body wrapped in thick layered white satins, lying motionless on the floor.

eyes that gave off radiance, closed forever.

what is nothing to you can be love to me

2011-11-02T04:39:00.001+08:00

Someone please find me this book. Please.

pitch black

2011-10-29T20:48:00.001+08:00

Old song, but I find it incredibly inspiring. Although it is merely 3:46, it was a 3:46 that started it all. Although it is only 3:46 long, it's enough to make me think, "What the hell have I been writing all these while?". That's right. This is the person I was referring to in my older post.

Why I decided to watch this in the first place was a completely different reason, though.

no matter how much I run, I’m still on the same spot

2011-10-29T20:29:00.001+08:00

not smart enough not pretty enough not kind enough not thin enough not thoughtful enough not funny enough not strong enough not friendly enough not grateful enough not tall enough not considerate enough not lively enough not generous enough not brave enough not light enough not independent enough not hardworking enough not quick enough not clever enough not sweet enough not feminine enough not cool enough not bubbly enough not tough enough not intelligent enough not fun enough not dependable enough not cute enough not responsible enough not creative enough not lovable enough not beautiful enough not good enough

eventually a day to smile will come

2011-10-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

I am aware that there are people who read this blog, but still, I feel the need to write this, at least for my sake.

I have this friend. We met each other when we were just 7 years old. She was among the earliest friends I made, and shortly after she came and said hi to me, we became best friends. We have been told by a lot of people that we look alike. Not only that we were of the same height and have similar body proportions, but we also look very much Chinese. Plus, we did almost everything and went almost everywhere together. People used to call us twins.

Not all good things remain the same, do they?

Gradually, we began to grow. Unfortunately for me, she grew to be much taller, much skinnier and much prettier than me. On top of that, she became more and more like a butterfly as she has always been. She is good at everything she does. She is always better than me. On the other hand, I became the opposite of her. To use Blair's comparison, I was the Darth Vader while she's the Sunshine Barbie.

It was tough for me, especially around people who has known us ever since the beginning of our friendship. People compare us. They don't do that openly, but I know. I have always known that. Although our friendship didn't stay the same, although we grew apart, I have never had any hatred towards her. But you see, it was really hard. Sometimes without me realizing it, I despised her. I couldn't stand even standing beside her. We were very alike, but then we became very different. And I was the bad one.

Despite it all, I don't hate her. I never did.

Hey, D. If you're reading, know that I really cherish you. I cherish our times together. I cherish having you as my childhood friend. Don't feel bad because of what I wrote, because it made me stronger. Thank you for everything. Happy 12 years of friendship. Soon it'll be 13. I love you.

andante

2011-10-16T22:54:00.000+08:00

By now, you would have known how much I love writing, and probably what writing means to me.

Recently, just recently, I discovered someone with a great talent at writing. His talent amazes me so much that it makes me feel ashamed as a fellow writer. I did a research on him, and it turned out that he had graduated from a very good university with both a degree and a Masters degree of this course that I once considered of applying. I didn't due to several reasons.

Looking at him, at his works, makes me regret my decision. I regret not insisting on what I had wanted. Not that I am unhappy with my current course, current university, but you know, there's always that famous 'what could have beens'.

ferris wheel

2011-10-02T00:14:00.000+08:00

People say life is like a wheel. Sometimes you're at the bottom, and sometimes you're on top.

First semester was not that wonderful to me. It passed by without leaving any memories worth remembering, though there were some good parts. First semester had me struggling a lot; both with people and myself.

Second semester was almost the same. Plus it was too short for anything to happen.

Third semester has been wonderful, fortunately. It started off quietly, but gradually it became better. I made friends, a lot of them. As someone who doesn't make friends easily, the number of friends I made this semester shocked myself. Most of all, I don't just see them as normal people, but as human. Probably because I heard their stories.

The best thing about this semester is that out of those friends I made, there are several that I cherish with all my heart. I am a very indoor, homely type. I don't hang out outside often, but I spend a lot of time with these people. I love the moments we spent together just laughing over silly things. I realized that I am beginning to open up and just go out there and be myself. As a traumatized person, that is a very difficult to do. Because of those friends, I am beginning to develop trust on people. Most importantly, I am beginning to trust myself. It's amazing how somebody who used to be just a stranger to you can change you so much.

Thank you, friends. Hakim, for being my friend ever since semester 1. Yuni, for not minding my silly randomness and just go along with me. Acap, for the good laughs. Akmal, for sharing those awkward moments of being lost in others' conversations. Raihan, for letting me join all of you. Thank you for the good times. Maybe we might not be able to be this close anymore in the future and drift apart, but memories always stay. Someday, we will look back and recall this moment when we were one and smile.

a song for anywhere

2011-09-29T01:19:00.000+08:00

One of the greatest, most powerful songs I have ever listened to. One that gives you strength and lift your spirit. Please, listen to it and understand the deeper meaning.

"Crying, searching, falling down, crying again. That's how you become an adult"

2011-09-10T19:01:00.000+08:00

When you feel like crying, it is best to just let it out. Lock yourself somewhere where you can be by yourself, and let everything out. Think back of things that hurt you, even those from years ago. Recall every hurtful memories, and cry it out. If possible, play a song that can break your heart while you do so. Just let the tears out. Make the ugliest face and the loudest noise that you can. Just let the tears out. It will hurt you bad. It will break your heart. It will make you feel like it is the darkest phase of your life. But once you are done crying and all the tears are dry, wash your face and put on a smile. It is over now. You can now face the day with a stronger self.

mirror mirror

2011-08-16T14:15:00.000+08:00

There will come one point in life where you found someone who is just like you. That person may not be your best friend, your twin, or your soul mate. They may be just a stranger that you have never crossed path with. Whether you like it or not, whether you're ready or not, you will find that person.

I found mine.

I was surprised to learn how similar we both are. How we have the same thoughts on things, the same opinions, the same point of views, the same feelings, and almost the same fears.

By knowing that there is someone out there who is just like me, somehow even when I have to go through the darkest tunnel in my life by myself, I don't feel lonely anymore.

since the rain is falling, i think i might fall as well

2011-07-29T14:42:00.000+08:00

Now
I erased all of you
I emptied out all of you
But when the rain falls again
All the memories of you I hid with effort
It all comes back, it must be looking for you

of lost memories

2011-07-13T01:56:00.000+08:00

While walking down the stairs, Sukuse Naomi's camera slipped from her hand. Trying to protect the camera, she dived and fell down, knocking her head. She later woke up without a single memory of the past four years

of her life. As she attempts to search for her old self, she gradually begins to realize her true self, and what her heart truly wants.

Based on a book with the same title, this movie tells a story about a girl who had forgotten her past just because of a simple decision she made.

I decided to watch this movie just for a simple reason: Tegoshi Yuya. Having been told that it is a complicated story, I started watching, expecting a heavy and dull film. However, the smoothness and the easy-flow of the it caught me by surprise. Without realizing it, I was wrapped with Naomi's inner-conflicts. Without realizing it, I fell deeper in love with her best friend, Hasegawa Mirai, a nice and cool guy who often prepares mixtapes for her.

For some reasons, this movie reminded me of a wish that I had longed for after seeing a particular scene in Hana Yori Dango Returns. I especially love this very dialogue delivered by Naomi's father, Sukuse Goro. He said this;

"When you get to my age, there are many things that you forget. For starters you forget what you studied at school. I've forgotten the names of all but one or two of my teachers. I'll probably forget their names soon too. I've forgotten what happened in classes, my grades, and when my friends' birthdays were. I've forgotten the lyrics of songs I've heard hundreds of times. And slowly, very slowly, you also forget the tastes of things, and things that really hurt. Even things that I thought I would never ever forget slowly faded into lost memories. Guys from the past, guys that were awkward, girls who were cute, girls who were smart, who went to what university, whose parties were great, you end up forgetting all of that stuff. People you said you loved. People you truly loved. Even the people who you think you'll remember till the very end. Mm, but that's why the waves of memories get thinner. It's because it's possible to forget those things that it makes it possible for us to love someone else in the future."

For some unexplainable reasons, I feel attached to this movie. I hope I will be able to pick up the original book soon.

life is hard dakedo happy

2011-07-11T16:31:00.000+08:00

This semester, I am taking a subject called Oral Communication. Basically, the subject is about how we deliver our speech.

For our first ever assignment, our lecturer, Madam Azimah, told us to do a 2-minute speech on a life-changing experience. And so we did. Each person would go to front and tell a story of the event that became the turning point of their life. Someone talked about her two friends who battled with cancer; one succeeded while the other succumbed. A close friend of mine talked about how he lost his dearest sister in a blink of eye. Another talked about losing her grandmother who she would always confided in. There were some who spoke while smiling, and there were also several who shed tears while recalling those memories.

Just from that simple assignment, our eyes were opened and we realized that each of us have our own story to tell. All of us have been hurt, lost something or someone important, and/or made a mistake and learnt from it. Just from that simple assignment, we now look at each other with different perspectives.

We are all human. We have flaws. What matters most are how we embrace those imperfections within ourselves and learn to cope with them.

Thank you for the experience, Madam.

light blue

2011-06-19T15:41:00.000+08:00

light

2011-06-06T12:31:00.001+08:00

Hello precious, happy birthday! :')

home

2011-05-29T21:35:00.000+08:00

In the past, there was a war between America and Japan. And there have been a lot of movies about it. I've seen Pearl Harbor, which describes the war from the eyes of Americans. I've also seen Letters From Iwo Jima, which tells the story about the war from Japanese' point of view.

Pearl Harbor pictured how the Americans tried hard to win the war and make their country proud, while Letters From Iwo Jima illustrated the Japanese' feelings and fighting spirit.

There's no telling on which side was wrong and which side was right, because after watching both movies, I learnt that the soldiers who fought in the war, be it Americans or Japanese, they all shared one thing in common: someone important was waiting for them to come home safely.

sukirai

2011-05-23T11:17:00.002+08:00

When I was much younger, I was placed in a horrible situation. My life was practically a nightmare. Ever since that, I became traumatized, and I started having various complexes. One of them is pushing people away. Every time someone gets close, I sort of freak out and run away. I make them hate me although I didn't really mean to. Somehow it began to look like a reality TV show where the weak ones are eliminated and only the strong ones remain. I lost a lot of friends because of that.

Thank you Nadiah, you must have been through a lot being with me. 愛してる。

glimpse

2011-05-19T14:53:00.000+08:00

When life gets hard, sometimes we take some time off for ourselves. Like when work stresses us a little too much, we go off for a vacation to relax our mind.

Sometimes it's tiring to be just me. Sometimes I wish I can take some time off from being me and be someone else for a little while. I wish I can know how others solve their problems and view others as well as themselves. And by learning that, I can try doing them while being myself again.

thought #2

2011-05-11T19:27:00.000+08:00

Writing down words is my solace. It allows me to speak out my inner thoughts and calms my mind.

And it shall remain as my solace; a favourite pastime, not as a career.

equality

2011-05-01T21:37:00.000+08:00

I don't have many friends. In my small circle of friends, I am only close to just several of them.

When people gather, especially a group of friends, they would talk about other people. When you talk about people, you can avoid bitching about them. And I hate that. I don't like talking about people, and I don't like to listen to them. I hate people ruining my views on others. You may call me naive, but I'm fine with thinking that everyone is nice.

In my opinion, if we treat everyone nicely without discriminating them according to our views on them, they'll treat us just the same. Let me do that, even if you doesn't want to.

eyes closed

2011-04-23T00:01:00.001+08:00

Big hands. Warm hands.

That lingering feeling on this hand.

Kind smile. Kind eyes.

Secret whisper.

A picture that never really existed. The obsession.

Eyes open. Memories that were never real.

Heartbreak. Pain.

Tears.

magic

2011-03-18T00:55:00.000+08:00

We were in Sydney. One fine evening, Abang brought us to a nearby mall. On our way back, we drove past rows of shops. There was one particular shop that caught my eyes -- The Cheesecake Shop. I've always loved cakes. Deep inside, I'm dying to try the cakes from there.

Then Abang made a U-turn, and he stopped the car somewhere near the shop. He got off the car, and asked me to come along. I obediently followed him, and tried hard to match our pace. I'm a slow walker.

He then made a turn and entered a shop. It was that cake store. And he told me to choose a cake that I like.

Abang may not say things like compliments or expressing what's in his heart openly like Khun, but I'd rather have him as my abang one thousand times more, than I want Khun to be my brother.

not enough

2011-02-27T23:49:00.000+08:00

I really like this scene from One Tree Hill. And I really like her. It's like, every girl can relate to her, and can look up to her. Her feeling of insecurities, her vulnerability - every girl has those.

And I'm not excluded.

klueless now

2011-02-10T19:01:00.000+08:00

I miss KLue :'(

hideout

2011-02-08T21:23:00.000+08:00

If I had a big garden

I would invite all my brothers and sisters there.

Each one would bring a large treasure.

We own nothing, thus we could become one people.

We shall build bars around our garden

letting no sound from the world reach us.

Out of our silent garden

we shall bring the world a new life.

- Edith Södergran, "The Big Garden"

of cows and cats

2011-01-08T02:57:00.001+08:00

I was born in Terengganu - Kuala Terengganu to be exact - but my family moved to Shah Alam when I was just five years old. I grew up as a city girl and speak 'KL'. Although I understand the Terengganu dialect, my tongue is incapable of speaking it.

When my brother was 13, he went to a boarding school in a small town in Perak named Kuala Kangsar. He lived there until he was 17 after he graduated from the school. As a girl who grew up in a city surrounded by Makros, Juscos, Giants and Carrefours (there were no Tescos back then), I wondered how he managed to live there. Practically, Kuala Kangsar had nothing. Well, except some delicious food, but food is exceptional here. I thought, maybe because he's a boy who doesn't care much about those things.

Years later, it was my second sister's turn to surprise me. She went for Matriculation in another small town, this time in Johor, namely Tangkak. For most Malaysian females, Tangkak is known as the Cloths Heaven. But similar to Kuala Kangsar, that town had nothing. She was always talking about things being cheap there, but I was always wondering, HOW on earth did she survive there?

Of course, I didn't ask those questions out loud.

Last year, I enrolled in Unisel, and had to live in, well, another small town. Batang Berjuntai is its name, now known as Bestari Jaya. The campus and the hostel were surrounded by palms plantations and cows (no pun intended). Like both Kuala Kangsar and Tangkak, nothing is there. After I arrived there, I questioned myself, how did I end up at such a place?

I was depressed, that's for sure.

But then, as time passed, I got much closer to my housemates. And while being in the house with them, it never occurred to me that I was surrounded by palms and cows. Of course, sometimes I glanced at my window to enjoy the humble view, which now I missed terribly. And I survived! At least for four months, since I dropped out.

I realize now that the thing that helped my brother, my sister, and me to live in such a place is the people around us. My brother had wonderful friends, and so did my sister and me. Although I made jokes about the cows being everywhere on the campus, it never mattered to me because I had them. The laughs we shared, they helped. A lot.

Nilai is a great place. It is a quiet yet developing town. But when I think of my friends in Batang Berjuntai, I thought, I'd rather live surrounded by palms and cows to be with them than living surrounded by nice shops but having no one.

365 days

2011-01-06T16:10:00.000+08:00

It's been a year! How time flies.

Daeyang noona, I haven't thanked you enough. The next time you come to KL, I'll treat you to something nice ;)

fireman

2010-12-24T16:51:00.000+08:00

There's this drama that I really like entitled Last Friends. In the drama, there's this guy, Takeru, who is a very good person and a great friend. He's always ready to cheer for you when you need support, lend a shoulder to cry on when you're upset about something, and make a good cup of tea when you have something to tell. Since that, I've always dreamed of having a friend like him.

Recently, I realized that I do have a friend like Takeru. Although they are not exactly similar, but that friend of mine is always there for me when I need him. And for having him by my side, I can't be any more thankful.

Now I just need to find my Bram..

throws confetti

2010-12-09T00:00:00.003+08:00

Thank you for the smiles :)

when a Bangladeshi guy annoys the hell out of you but still makes you laugh

2010-11-20T23:59:00.001+08:00

Time: Late night. Almost 11PM.
Place: Restoran Pak Cik, CFS IIUM Nilai, Blok E

My dormmates Dida, Syiqin and Fani went to Pak Cik for late night dinner. Since it was late and Pak Cik was closing, the Bangladeshi worker (whose name I forgot but I know it starts with S) approached them and try to sell the ordered-but-not-picked-up nasi gorengs. The original price for one nasi goreng is RM3, but the guy offered RM2. Dida asked for RM1. His reaction:

"Kalau mau angkat, angkat. Kalau tak mau, saya bagi kucing makan. Nanti dia doa sama saya."

-_-

the greatest thing that the great hiro-sama did to me, ME!

2010-11-05T21:16:00.001+08:00

*runs wild, screams in between running*

something from Miza

2010-11-05T01:05:00.000+08:00

...which she got from a friend of hers.

The word shams (sun) is feminine, and qamar (moon) is masculine. The sun burns itself out to give light and life to everything around, and the moon is muneer, meaning it reflects the light. Within itself it has no light; it radiates the brilliance of the sun. So when we shine as men, the implication is that we are reflecting... the glorious light of our women. -Abdullah Adhami

From TTDI Jaya to Bestari Jaya to Petaling Jaya

2010-10-13T13:49:00.002+08:00

Make that Nilai ~~Jaya~~.

Congratulations!

I am pleased to inform that you have been offered to join the Foundation Programme at International Islamic University Malaysia.

@keevan92 Tee hee hee.

Thought #1

2010-10-03T00:05:00.000+08:00

Human beings are frightening. To satisfy their own desires, they stab others' back. Even a blood-related, even a friend. And once you turn away from them, they talk about you. They judge you, they say nasty things about you; thinking they are much better than you.

Sunny

2010-08-31T15:08:00.002+08:00

"Above that big storm the sun always smiles and shines bright, waiting. So don't you give up boy!"

credit: Khun

a glance back

2010-08-23T23:49:00.000+08:00

Surely everyone knows Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken, right?

I wonder how a moment sometimes can change our entire life.

Take this for example. In an article I once read in Reader's Digest, a man explained how a small mistake he made actually saved his life. That man's workplace used to be WTC. On that day, he overslept, and woke up late. He missed the train that he takes every morning to go to work, so he had to take the next one. When he finally arrived, right in front of his eyes, his office building is crushing down.

He overslept, and was late to work. And that unexpectedly saved his life.

Not that I'm saying oversleeping is a good thing.

It's amazing how the tiniest act we do can actually take our life on a 180 degree turn. Like what I did. Little that I expect this action I took made who I am today. Well, since it involved another person, and since it actually was a bit cruel, I can't really explain what was it that I did. But still, I'm grateful.

For my beloved Daeyang

2010-07-31T23:34:00.000+08:00

One of many reasons why I really really love you is because you don't mind me. You don't mind what I like and what I don't (well, you mind I don't like Taeyang but that one doesn't count here). For that one reason, I'm forever grateful that you're my best friend.

Just wanted to let everyone knows this.

satu lapan

2010-07-25T22:56:00.000+08:00

I had the best birthday celebration last year, although it was super tiring and I almost lost my voice that day. So compared to that one, this year's is pretty quiet. It's still enjoyable though.

My first ありがとう will go to Nadiahoho who was the first to text at 11 pm. To us it's already 12 am, since we follow Japan time. Haha! :P
The lyrics were pretty. I can follow you and Jin c-ing after this! :D

The next ありがとうs are for Abang, Nini, Nico and Azeem who sent simple but sweet (or in Nico's, full of inside jokes :P) texts.
I still remember waking up at around 12.40 am last year to your excited scream, Nini :D

Of course not forgetting Daeyang (yes, that's how your name is spelled in my phone. Hehe) who sent a long audio message. Never before had I received any audio messages. ありがとう honey!
I want your present but I still want Lucifer! :P

Last but not least, tons of ありがとうs to my best buddy in A-Forum, Anne who made a gorgeous banner for me. That's an awesome gift. I looove youu! :)
I'm still a cyan, so wait for me!

I wanted to make this short, so for those whose name I left, your wishes are still very much appreciated :)

no other but you

2010-07-23T23:42:00.000+08:00

Forgive me for posting this after keeping silent for over one month, but this is just pure happiness.

Ah, Heenim.

de aete yokatta :)

2010-06-17T17:19:00.001+08:00

shine like a gold

2010-06-15T11:57:00.000+08:00

I don't think I delivered my message well in my previous post.

What I meant to say is, it takes so little to make others happy. Even if they're strangers.

small bit of favour that helps a lot

2010-05-31T14:28:00.001+08:00

It is true that what goes around comes around. And Vito was right when he said "Just smile, and everything will be alright".

More than two years ago, I helped making someone's super hectic and stressful day a bit brighter. He worked at IKEA cafe and was facing demanding queued up customers. There wasn't much that I could do for him, just giving him a friendly smile, hoping that can make things a bit better. He smiled back, genuinely.

Recently, I had a bad day at work. Lunch hour was terribly busy, customers were complaining, and I got yelled back when I was just telling Bob about the complaints so that he can hurry a bit. Abang Up was yelling too, though not at me. So during my break, I escaped to Dunkin' Donuts aka paradise, because I was craving for Choc Pudding. I was greeted by the guy who works there. When I was searching for the Choc Pudding, he came and stood beside me and told me about the promotions they had. It wasn't until that point that I actually take a good look on him. He was probably slightly older than me, his hair reminded me of 8TV's Qi, and he was smiling brightly. As if dazzled, all my depressed thoughts that were mounted up in my mind were washed away.

And instead of buying just one for me, I bought six, since he was promoting the promotions they are having and showing me which are good enthusiastically.

kind eyes, warm smiles

2010-05-25T19:25:00.000+08:00

Two days ago, a family came to buy a whole cake. Labu was the one who served them, while I just watched them. They seemed very ordinary: a father, a mother, a son and a daughter. While they were browsing through the cakes, I realized something about them. Both the parents are mute. But what fascinated me the most is their son. He's just a young boy - shouldn't be any older than 12, I think. However, he's very matured and well-behaved. He became the middle person between his parents and Labu. He told Labu whatever his parents told him. Back and forth, back and forth, he turned from his parents to Labu, and to his parents again. Never even once I caught a glimpse of irritated expression from him. Yes, maybe because he's used to it. But I don't think anyone can be as patient as he was, especially for someone that young.

I love that family, although I just met them for less than half an hour. I love that family, although we didn't really communicate with each other, except for exchanging smiles. It's funny how just by watching some strangers, you can learn a lot from them.

help!

2010-05-17T09:59:00.003+08:00

~~Anyone knows how to write a resignation letter?~~

Done, thanks to the people in Arashi Forum :)

noona neomu yeppeoseo

2010-05-07T23:41:00.002+08:00

Not.

Haha. Joking. Okay, let's get serious.

Dear Dayang,

How long have we known each other? Eight years? Well if you remember correctly, I have known you more than that. I was always watching you with your friends even before we actually befriended each other. I don't know why, but somehow you got my attention. Eventually, we got into the same class and I finally made a move to say hi to you properly.

We had so much being classmates in 2002. We were just 10 at that time, and you had a not-so-secret admirer who peeked in our class to have a look at you each time he had free period. I always think you guys were funny, that's why I willingly became the middle person. Eventually, I became close with the boy, and we remain as good acquaintances even after you moved (and fyi he was the one who introduced me to my eventual stalker!). Oh, remember that time during Science class? Our teacher Cikgu Zulkarnain gave us a work. It was something about doing experiment report. One of the questions was to name the animals which were labelled P, Q, R, S and T. Of course, being too clever, we made up our own guesses based on the initials. We tried so hard to think what animal whose name starts from letter Q. I laughed so hard each time I recalled of that.

Well, things don't always work out as planned. Although we were so close, somehow we grew apart. We stopped spending time together, and we started hanging out with different people. Truth is, I was always glancing at you and wished I was brave enough to get things right between us. I foolishly hoped that someday we would be close again. I wish too much sometimes, and before I could do anything, you moved.

After you moved, I regretted being such a coward. I regretted not doing the things I should do. I regretted not saying goodbye to you properly. I regretted not hugging you so tight. I regretted everyday.

About a couple of years after you moved, I found you through Friendster. I was afraid at first. I am always afraid of the past. That's one thing that keeps bothering me. But well, you just kept messaging me like nothing had ever happened. Then I eventually thought maybe I was just exaggerating things. Through the wonderful thing called Internet, we instantly became close again. This time we're closer than ever. Maybe it's the distance. There even were days where we chatted everyday. It's like we never ran out of things to say to each other.

But I am never a good friend, although I call myself one. Even to me, it seems like all we talk about is involving me and my life and my friends and my crushes and what I like and what I don't like. I am a selfish friend, I know. I never asked you how's your school life, who's your good friend there, and even how's your feeling. It's always about me. I go around and tell the world that you're my best friend. But you know, I always ask myself, have I been a good friend? You don't really tell me what's happening in your life that often. You didn't even tell me you broke up with that I-am-so-going-to-kick-his-butt-once-I-meet-him Aaron. Not that I want to make you feel bad, but that made me wonder, where do I stand in your heart that you didn't even tell me such an important thing?

Maybe I bothered you so much with Al and Nino. Haha.

Well speaking of Nino, what happened to our agreement? Didn't we promise to get to know each other's true love? It looks like we both had forgotten about it. At least I can tell the members apart now. How about you?

You know, I can't remember the last time we have serious talk. I mean really serious issues. It seems that all we talk about are Nino, Seunggi, Nino again, Minho, Seunggi again, Nino again, Minho again, Jun, Minho again, Seunggi again, Nino again, Arashi and Big Bang. Oh yeah, and Taeyang. Haha! We talk too much about them. Even Amira complained her home wall is full with our tweets. Maybe we should tone down, girl. Or find some other subjects.

I don't know what else is there to type down here. You know we don't have much memories together. The only one that has always stayed strong in my head, and will always will, is the times we spent in class playing the game we call titik. We play it extraordinarily and with style. And for that, I can't bring myself to play with other people apart from you nowadays. They can never understand our tradition.

Well then Happy 18^th Birthday my friend. Hope you will enjoy my present. Onew once said, "I don't really want to be the best. I just want to be someone I won't be ashamed of,". So be someone you'll be proud of and do things you won't regret later. But don't be afraid to make mistakes. You'll learn much more from that.

You most probably are watching 1 Night and Two Days aka Seunggi right now. I'm telling you, kiddie jump that goes with dimpled smiles are the best ;)

PS hands off my Minho!

break

2010-04-26T22:44:00.000+08:00

Abang Up scared me like hell two days ago.

That afternoon, I noticed he looked worn out. I asked him whether he's alright, and he said yes. So I didn't ask any further besides telling him he looked different.

Two or three hours later, he started to get worse. He could barely stand straight and key in the orders correctly. There were tons of mistakes he made. And as if things couldn't be any worse, there were a husband and wife who just couldn't pick a more proper time to argue about credit card rebates. Plus people who really know how to use the cash register weren't there. All of us who were in right then could just watch him and helped him a little by turning down customers while feeling worried for him. Laby even had to ask the current customers to pay in exact amount.

Luckily Madam came to our rescue later. By the time she arrived, Abang Up couldn't even read the tiny words on the computer. After she settled all the things with the customers and held payments, she asked Abang Up to sit down and rest. She even bought him a hot Milo for him from McDonalds in front.

Abang Up was so worrying. I couldn't even bring myself to do my job. I just sat beside him and stare at him. I didn't know what to say to him because I realized that he realized people were concerning about him. I realized that because I was watching him. He knew what was happening around him. He understood. He looked at me straight in the eyes and asked if he looked pale. He realized, I know. But what he didn't realize is that he has overworked himself. Even in that condition he still wanted to count the stocks and write on cakes.

Fortunately, a friend of his came to pick up his cake. He helped brought Abang Up home.

Today he's supposed to work full. When he wasn't around this morning during opening, I kinda felt at lost because he's the one who gave me jobs. He always told me things like "Bilas kain, rendam dulu dengan bleach", "Buat sos", "Lap cermin", and even "Cari kerja" when I had nothing to do. So this morning, his voice was echoing in my mind. Whenever I ran out things to do, I'd think "What else? What else? What did Abang Up usually ask me to do?". I was a good junior today. Abang Up taught me well. Haha!

Anyway I hope Abang Up rests well at home and doesn't go out, like he did yesterday. Can you believe he actually went to help at Sec 9 outlet? God, that man need to learn how to sit still.

toothstab

2010-04-15T20:07:00.003+08:00

Time: Lunchtime
Customers: Three Chinese guys

Guy A: You ada toothpick tak?
Me: (didn't catch him) Sorry?
Guy A: Itu cucuk gigi.
Me: (blank) ?
Labu (who was nearby): Cungkil gigi!
Me: Ohh!

Later

Me: *passes the toothpick jar*
Guy A: Eh, apa you panggil ini?
Me: Ni? Cungkil gigi.
Guy A: Haa! Cungkil gigi!
Guy B (to Guy B): Bukan cucuk gigi la. Tu la. Dulu sekolah tak nak belajar BM betul-betul. *laughs*

the secret life of a Secret Recipe employee

2010-04-13T12:51:00.002+08:00

Day 1

I walked in with the thought "Okay now, I'm living my dream." Haha. It was still lunchtime by the time I arrived, so everyone had their hands full. The supervisor (coughs to Dayang. Haha!) asked me to sit down for a sec while he settles his job. After a few minutes of waiting, finally he came and explains everything to me. He put me as the service staff and asked the other two service staffs to show me around and teach me to do my job. For some reason, they are called Labu and Laby. Labu is a funny guy while Laby is sweet. Then I met the kitchen staffs, the tough Kak Ana and the quiet Kak Ina, and the barista guy (who has a sharp mouth), Bob. The supervisor, Shah Naz is a nice guy, but slightly mental, just like the rest of the boys. People call him Up. He would ask Labu or Laby to teach me things whenever I was free. I learned how to serve customers, prepare the settings, fold the boxes, and cut cakes.

End of Day 1 results: Back pain, cramped legs and a blistered foot.
Personal comment: Dark grey does make a man look good (more coughs to Dayang :P)

Day 2

Lunchtime wasn't as busy as the day before. Maybe because it was Sunday. Abang Up had the day off, instead Abang Adela was in. He was the one who hired me. He taught me how to prepare cakes like NY Cheese and Caramel Cheese. Day 2 was less hectic. However, the Cold War between the barista guy and me started to arise. That guy really need to learn how to speak nicer.

End of Day 2 results: Back pain, cramped legs and still blistering foot.
Personal comment: Boys will always be boys, regardless the age and position.

Day 3

I was several minutes late. I think everyone was wondering whether I was coming because by the time I arrived, all attentions were turned to me. Haha. The manager was in. He's a Chinese guy named Tan Bek Nam. But behind him everyone calls him Abe. Abang Up asked me to fill up a form, which is also my contract, and gave me a more proper briefing. Then after settling things with me and the store, the manager left. Cold War became much worse. I almost blew up totally. Luckily Laby gave me a job. So I went to sit at a corner quite far away from the Bob guy to do my job. Then right after I finished it, I left for Asar prayer with an incredibly scowled face. Usually I informed at least two people before I left, but that time I just told Abang Up. I really took my time, in order to cool down my temper. I think I left maybe for 40 minutes. When I returned, I noticed that everyone's face was different. Even Kak Ana came to me and asked me not to keep Bob's words to my heart. Oh well. At least I managed to brush my anger as far aside as possible and continue co-operating with him. That night he showed me how to combine cakes. And when we were doing dishes together, he asked "Seronok ke kerja sini?". I thought that for a second, and answered "Kalau awak takde baru seronok". Yes, here we use saya-awak when we're being sarcastic. He told Abang Up that, and he just chuckled at me. Haha.

End of Day 3 results: Cramped legs and recovering blistere foot.
Personal comment: Bring out your inner DoS or/and the DoS skills that you learned from someone else (in my case, Nino and Jun) to fight another DoS.

Okay, that's it for now. Heading to my fourth day later.

Oh yeah, Nico came with his mom on my third day to dine. Thanks HSBC ;)

Edit: The Cold War has ended. Bob is nicer now.

brave heart

2010-03-26T22:45:00.004+08:00

A star is not much. It's not an honest word of praise, a friend to share tears and laughs with, or a dream come true. But for me, the star that shines warmly in my room is the sole reminder that even though I'm on my own, I'm not alone.

2010-03-24T14:29:00.001+08:00

How much for a broken heart and a side of regret?

because ten RM1s is better than one RM10

2010-03-05T12:50:00.008+08:00

Nama-nama timangan oleh org tersayang

1. Adik : oleh keluarga serta saudara mara.
2. Shida : oleh hampir semua sahabat-handai, serta kadang2 kakngah dan kaklong.
3. Shida nana : oleh Nicocokrunch
4. Dashi : oleh Shobanana aka Basho
5. Shidamiya, Adikmiya : oleh diri-sendiri demi memerasankan diri. Haha :D

Anda seorang yang

1. Tak banyak cakap. Mendengar lebih seronok :)
2. Tidak suka mengutuk orang lain kerana saya tidak suka dikutuk orang lain ;)
3. Suka duduk sendirian dalam bilik dengan memasang MP3, tidak kiralah Charli atau yg lain, sambil lip-sync dan main gitar udara atau piano udara.
4. Suka berangan kot. Eh, potong kot. Hehe.
5. Tidak suka diannoykan. Bila saya rasa annoyed, saya harap anda akan meninggalkan saya sendirian buat seketika. Sebab saya tak suka marah dan maki orang.

Insan teristimewa. Describe apa yg membuatkan dia terlalu istimewa di mata anda.

1. Mi, Abah, Kaklong, KakngahP dan Abang : dah family, takkan tak istimewa kott.
2. Dayang dan Nadiah, kawan baik saya; Nico, HSBC saya; Nini, rakan sejenayah saya ;)
3. Kazu : kerana dia ialah dia :)

Makanan favourite anda

Saya takde makanan favourite.

Favourite color

Warna favourite pun takde :)

Favourite song

Saya suka lagu yang boleh buat saya lepaskan diri dari realiti buat seketika.

Sikap yg membuatkan anda stress

1. Suka mengutuk dan mengkritik orang lain. Kan semua orang tidak sempurna, jadi buat apa nak burukkan orang. Macam la dia tu bagus sangat.
2. Orang yang bercakap atau menanyakan tentang perkara yang membuatkan saya stress.
3. Orang yang racist.

3 benda yg mesti ade dalam bag/handbag anda...

1. Purse
2. Cermin mata. Ya, saya rabun tapi saya tak suka pakai cermin mata.
3. Uhh.. Pensel atau pen.

Kali terakhir anda menangis beriya-iya..kenapa?

Tak payah la tau.

Tag 5 rakan anda.

1. Nadiah, tapi dia dah buat.
2. Nini, pun dah buat.
3. Nico, lagi la dah buat
4. Dayang! Dia tak buat lagi. Haha.
5. Uhhh

Note: Tajuk post ini adalah berdasarkan fakta yang dinyatakan oleh seseorang namun telah diubahsuaikan sedikit bagi menyesuaikannya dengan keadaan di sini.

unfulfilled ambition

2010-02-16T14:41:00.007+08:00

When I was in Standard 5, my Kaklong who had just finished high school, just like I am now, told my mom her friend was working at Secret Recipe. Having heard that, I thought, it'd be nice working there. Somehow the idea struck me, and rested in my head. So since that day, I've always been dreaming of working at Secret Recipe. I've always been telling myself while looking at the people working there, someday I'll be joining them. I've always imagined myself wearing that grey uniform.

My parents went to perform Hajj last year, starting early November until mid-December. So throughout my SPM days, they weren't here. My uncle and aunt came to stay with me. They took care of everything - right from meals to sending and picking me up from school. Therefore, once SPM was over, I thought I didn't want to trouble them any more by having to send and pick me up from work. So I thought I'd wait until my parents get back.

Several days before January starts, I finally asked for Secret Recipe job at SACC Mall. I wanted to work there because it is one of my favourite branches. They asked me to fill up a form, and said they would call. I went home with a thought that I'll start in January, and I waited. But they never did call.

A week or two later, I asked again. This time at Giant. However, this time, the guy only asked me to write my name and phone number. He told me about the work, the time they start, the time they finish, people my age working there, the shifts - everything. This time, I thought I'll definitely get it. So once again, I went home with a renewed hope, and once again, I waited. Once again, they never called.

~~After that, I stopped asking for a Secret Recipe job.~~

My mom told me I should try somewhere else, like MPH, but I turned her idea down. My relative even offered me a Kumon job, but I turned it down too. People said I was too choosy, but I wasn't. I really wasn't. The thing is, I've always imagined myself working at Secret Recipe since I was in primary school. So, when I didn't get the job, it's like my whole spirit to work vanished. I couldn't imagine myself working somewhere else. Even the thought had me shuddering. To me, doing so is like betraying my heart.

~~They don't get it. My dream was crushed. The dream I've always been dreaming of isn't coming true. Now it will never come true. They just can't understand it.~~

I got the job!

let your imagination soar

2010-02-10T11:25:00.002+08:00

I can't play piano.

Since I was little, I always told my mom I want to learn to play piano. But she said it isn't really necessary. Besides piano classes are not cheap. So she never sent me.

Since I was little, people always look at my fingers and asked whether I play piano. My fingers are long alright, but I don't play piano. What is it about these people who thinks everyone who have long fingers play piano?

Since I was little, I always look at people who can play piano very well with envy. I wish I can play like them too.

Since I was little, since I can't play piano, I always air-pianoing. It's fun. Listening to songs like Canon in D and pretend you can play for real. Like what I did during SPM. I was staring at my paper, trying to remember the answer for the question I was stuck at, with Niji in my head. So I started air-pianoing, so hard, that perhaps the pengawas might think I can really play. Haha.

Maybe this sounds sad. But I really had a good time. You should try :)

for those who forgot

2010-02-10T11:02:00.006+08:00

This is for you, Dayang, who has forgotten the killer dimples and super sweet smile of my only choice of bakal menantu for your mom.

And this is for you, Nadiah, who has slightly forgotten the hidden warm heart under the cold expression of this Bakanishi.

Hahaha!

what remained

2010-01-18T10:20:00.003+08:00

Once when I was in primary school, my art teacher asked us to make a giant bookmark with a quote or an idiom on it. I made a sakura, and was quite proud of it since I'm not really good in art.

Several weeks later, I saw the bookmark I made on a board in the hallway. I'm telling you, the feeling of seeing something you made being displayed is a good one. Especially when you don't often see them being displayed. I was really overjoyed. I smiled every time I passed the board.

However several months later, my giant sakura were removed. I somehow felt that my name was removed from the school history along with my bookmark.

Unlike me, my sister and brother have their name carved. My sister's at a trophy, my brother's; his school hall. 5, 10, 20 years later, the new generations may not know them. But having their name carved there, they will be remember as someone who had achieved their very best.

And me? I don't know what had happened to my sakura afterward. But I know where it would be heading: the dustbin.

two years of happiness

2010-01-07T12:13:00.003+08:00

Happy (belated) birthday Charli de Lauro! :)

Well, of course it's not really your birthday. But it's been two years we're together. And I hope we can stay together for as looong as possible!

I really love you, though you're not perfect :)

the wind that wraps

2009-12-10T15:23:00.004+08:00

Last Tuesday, while waiting for the clock to turn 3.30, I couldn't help glancing around to see the people around me. I thought, these are the people I've been together with. Some I've known since forever, some I just met or got close with this year, while the others are the kind of friends that I catch up with once in a while. But all of them are precious to me.

I love saying thank yous. I believe by just saying a simple thank you, you can change a frown into a smile. So now, I would like to say my words of gratitude to these people, who have made my life a beautiful one :)

Thank you Nadiah, for always being with me. You supported me on almost everything I do, and when I failed or came across obstacles that had me shed tears, you lent me your shoulder and gave me courage to move on. Thank you for trusting me to listen to your secret, silent thoughts and dreams. Thank you also for the fangirling moments. Haha. I looked forward to go to school everyday so that I can ramble about JE stuffs with you :D I know you love Chinen and Yabu and Hikaru as much as you love Jin, but you see dear Nadiaho, Jin suits you better :) Haha. Oh yea, go Shida! :P
I love you, best friend.

Thank you Dayang, for always listening to my stories although you live across the sea. Sometimes I feel like you're here and you know everything about my school and my friends. Thank you for cheering me up when I'm down, and injecting more hyperness in me. Thank you for introducing me to the sweet honey bee Seunggi. His dimples surely kill. But don't worry, he's all yours. I already have Nino by my side. Haha. Oh yea, you know, you should bring Aaron to me so that I can use my taekwondo skills to kick him and send him to the Antartica :D
I love you, best friend.

Thank you Nicholas, for willing to lend your ears to hear (or eyes to read) my dreamy thoughts and pathetic mumbles. Thank you also for the music recommendations. I'm sorry I don't like Lady Gaga and many of your recommendations, but at least we agreed on some. Remember "Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts"?. Haha. That's one of my favourite lyrics ever. Thank you for following me sneaking to TGV to take a picture of you and Megan. I hope someday when I've gotten rich, I can fly you to Hollywood to meet her :)
I love you, HSBC.

Thank you Nini, for always being so happy and cheerful. In a way, you help putting a smile on my face. Thank you for actually helping me to become more open to people around me. I gained confidence and got to know many good friends through you. Thank you for acting like a big sister to me, although you're much younger. I really appreciate your presence beside me. You know, I'm much more hyper, crazier, friendlier, bravier and happier because of you :) I hope someday I can meet the other Shida at your house. Haha.
I love you, big younger sister.

Thank you Shoba, for not minding my unpredictable craziness. I wish things went clear between you and Darwin. Haha. Well, at least you've found the person who loves you now. I'm sorry for getting annoyed at you sometimes. You know, sometimes I can't deal with so much sighs and kvetches. Thank you for being a great deskmate, although you always leave me alone. Haha. Thank you for being crazy and childish with me at times. The syair we sang together was rather absurd than beautiful. We're Basho and Dashi after all. Who can blame us? :D
I love you, deskmate.

Thank you 5 Amanahians, for being the best class I've ever been in. Your unpredictable weather was always surprising, but it never failed to make me laugh. Surely we had dramas, but hey, we wouldn't be the same without the dramas, right? They sort of bonded us together :) Thank you for the loudness. We had such a looong year. Dissecting the frogs, washing cars and playing hangman at my house seems years ago. I miss having everyone altogether in class. Haha. "We're just one big family", so keep contacting each other, OK?
I love you, classmates.

Thank you Azeem, for being such a good friend. Your happy-go-luckyness never failed to cheer me up. I wish I knew you sooner :) Thank you for supporting me on Luna, although all you contributed was RM2 and some encouraging words. Well, maybe that should be enough. Haha. Thank you for presenting your friend's black guitar to me. Was it Gemilang that you sang while playing it? The sumbangness of your voice made my day. Haha. Thank you for directing such a cool drama. In a way, you made that (not so) secret ambition of mine came true. Thank you for being such a big fan of my food and always came running everytime I mention that four-letter word :D You know, you are such a wonderful boy. I wish you'll find your girl in red soon. Who knows? Maybe she's just right around the corner :)
Thank you, toyboy. Haha.

Thank you Keisha, for being an awesome editor and tuition mate. Your sarcasm always made me laugh. Thank you for loving my writings for the school magazine. You know, one of the proudest moment in my life was when everyone clapped for me after you read the prologue and epilogue I wrote for me. I can't thank you enough for that :) Thank you for always asking questions during tuition. They helped me a lot. Thank you for hating the Gardenia song, because singing the song to you and watching you getting irritated always made my day. Hahaha :D Don't forget to "Pin pin, Shidaaa" in front of my house once you've got your driving license.
I love you, K.

Thank you Sze Ting, for being a good friend to me since Form 1. You were always nice to me that I wished I could do something in return to you. Thank you for not minding Shoba and me in class. We know we were loud. Thank you for always telling me about good books. You know, I really hope I could understand Chinese so that I can read your books. Haha. Thank you for being such a darling in 5A. Being with you along with Jess, Endarah and the others always made me burst out laughing. Oh yea, I hope the big bantal I gave you four years ago is still in a good condition. Haha :D
I love you, Tingtong.

Thank you Lukman, for being such a wonderful friend. Although you annoyed me for coming late for taekwondo every week, you actually paid back with your amazing kicks and swings. Haha. Thank you for introducing me to the beauty of guitar in a way that even you didn't realize. Watching you play was just like a simple clarity to me. Thank you for taking time to read my scribbling book, and liking them. Thank you for being so delighted everytime I did some nice things to you. It made me feel like doing it more. Haha. Thank you for being someone who makes the people around you feels safe. You are a person with a big heart :)
I love you, Lutetium.

Thank you Daia, for staying as a friend for 10 years now. You were the first person who came to me and said hi during our first day in primary. Thank you for helping me with so many things. Thank you for inserting me regularly in your plans. Nico's birthday celebration was awesome. I hope all of us can do things like that again. Thank you for being so thin and active. You gave me the inspiration to work out more. Haha. I hope we can stay as friends more 10 more years :)
I love you, old friend.

Thank you Aisyah, for always being there for me to annoy. I understand how deep your love for nasi lemak. But I'm telling you girl, don't eat too much, it's not healthy for you. Thank you for helping me with things once in a while, especially during the Sawi Jackson project. Your brilliant ideas helped our team a lot :) Thank you for giving me hugs. Your hugs made me feel very warmed. Thank you for your sarcasm. It sometimes brightened up my day. You see, I'm much more sarcastic now because of you. You're my tok guru. Haha :D
I love you, Aisy.

Thank you Imran, for being a funny friend. I'm sure not many knows that. Thank you for your sarcasm against Mr Param in class. I still remember the way you said "Satu penemuan baru" when Azif and Naura said they had never heard of decible and "A is wrong" when he didn't respond at your answer just like he always says them. Hahaha. You upset me when you said you quitted tuition, because the class is much funnier with you around. Thank you for resembling Nishiki although you have no idea who on earth he was :D
I love you, on-and-off tuition mate.

Thank you Sarah, for being a wonderful friend. Thank you for your help handling the taekwondo kids for me. I wouldn't know how to control them without you. Seriously, they listened to you more. Thank you for being my partner during the lessons. Seeing your powerful kicks and swings made me work harder, so that I can be as good as you. Thank you for your beautiful smiles. They always made my days brighter. I bet once you've taken our braces off, you'll look much prettier :)
I love you, girl.

Thank you M, for the super delicious tiramisu. I should get close with you sooner, so that I can ask you to make it more often. Hahaha. I still haven't made the tiramisu using your recipe though. Mascarpone cheese is too expensive -__- Thank you for being my sarcasm partner. I love being sarcastic around you. Haha :D Thank you for actually being so cool right before SPM. Although it was funny seeing you like that, you somehow made me calm.
I love you, food lover.

Thank you Naura, for being such a darling. Your sneeze is an epic. Haha. Thank you for the 'informations' you gave me during trials. "Apa saja demi trial", right? Thank you for making Physics class funner. One of the reasons I looked forward for Physics classes every week was you. Thank you for your sarcasm. Funny sarcasms make my day :D I'm really going to miss you, girl.
I love you, girl in pink.

I still have more. I will update it soon :)

apart

2009-12-04T15:39:00.001+08:00

Lexie: Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.
Mark: It isn’t just death we have to grieve. It’s life. It’s loss. It’s change.
Alex: And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.
Izzie: That’s how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can’t breathe, that’s how you survive.
Derek: By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won’t feel this way. It won’t hurt this much.
Bailey: Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way.
Owen: So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.
Meredith: The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can’t control it.
Arizona: The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes.
Callie: And let it go when we can.
Meredith: The very worst part is that the minute you think you’re past it, it starts all over again.
Cristina: And always, every time, it takes your breath away.
Meredith: There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five.
Alex: Denial.
Derek: Anger.
Bailey: Bargaining.
Lexie: Depression.
Chief: Acceptance.

for the person whose eyes twinkle :)

2009-11-15T11:18:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Although I just found out about your birthday last Friday, I'm still glad that I did. Because I managed to give you a surprise call in the middle of the night :D

Once again, happy birthday! Keep being the good person I've always known. Keep smiling because your smiles do wonders to me and the people around you. Keep strumming your guitar because it made a lot of people happy whether you know it or not. Most important of all, keep being the person I know I can always turn to, because you actually make me feel safe :)

Love, Shida :)

may be forever

2009-11-13T15:58:00.001+08:00

the end

2009-11-11T23:33:00.004+08:00

Do you know why I try the hardest that I could to go to school everyday these days? Like everyone knows, we Form 5s are getting closer to end our school days.

Honestly, the idea of not going to school anymore scares me, although that is what I have been dreaming of. We go to school everyday knowing what to expect, or at least, we can have the ideas of what's going to happen. We know who are we going to meet. We know where we are heading to with each step we take. We know that we are going a place we are familiar with, or for some, feel safe at.

I didn't like going to school, and I couldn't wait to graduate from school. But ever since I watched this scene in One Tree Hill a few years ago, suddenly my eyes became wide open of what school is to many of the students. In that scene, the school counselor asked Brooke about her plan for college. Here's what she said: "The truth is I don't really like to think about college, 'cause that means high school's over. After graduation, everyone will probably go play basketball or sing or start record labels. And I'll have to start all over. Alone."

That made me think. School is a safe place, whether you realize it or not. Like I already mentioned, we know what to expect in school, but not outside. I don't know what to expect later. I don't know whether I'll get to meet my friends again. I don't know how we all will change. I don't know whether things can stay same. Some, at least, if not all. And the truth is, I'm kind of scared about the future.

And that's why I try hard to go to school every single day. I don't have much time left to cherish everything I have now. Therefore, I want to make use every minute of it very wisely now, so that I will know, I did have my own safe place once. I'll also know that I have priceless memories about one of the best times of my life :')

of Kuala Kangsar and Cendol of the World

2009-10-11T18:15:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, together my auntie, her husband and my nenek saudara, my family and I went on a trip to Kuala Kangsar. Actually, it just began with us going to attend a distant relative's wedding in Ipoh. Then we all had this idea to continue our journey to Kuala Kangsar since it has been ages since we last go there. Abah was reluctant to go at the first place, but he had to give up since we all urged him to =P

Well, I have been wanting to go there for months. I really love it there. To be honest, I love Kuala Kangsar more than I love my kampung.

On our way there, I already had this vision of that something I've been craving for so long: the world's greatest Cendol Kuala Kangsar. You see, everytime we went to send, visit or pick up Abang, we always always would stopped by this food court by the river. One of the stall sells the best cendol ever. Slllrrp.

We stopped at the mosque first. Seeing the Masjid Ubudiah, I remembered something else that I've been missing: one of the world's greatest ice cream. I had always been one of that pakcik aiskrim's most loyal customer ever since Abang was in Form 1. Armed with an old motorcycle with colourful umbrella and a tong of traditional ice cream, that pakcik awaits me patiently in front of the mosque. Here is a picture of that yummy ice cream:

After that, we went to the great food court. But since we were accompanied by my auntie, uncle and nenek saudara, I had to be more patient since they wanted to look around at the the souvenir shops. So while waiting for them, I just gazed at the stall wth my blurry eye and said, "wait for me, cendol."

Finally, Abah couldn't wait anymore. He decided to head to the stall first. So, of course the impatient me and Kakngah tagged along. When the waiter came to us to take our order, I blurted out "cendol!" right away. Hahaha. Here's a picture of the Cendol of the World:

Unfortunately, my tummy couldn't take much santan although I'm a big big big fan of the cendol. I only managed to slurp about three quarter of it before passing it to my mom. Oh well.

Of course, Abah passed by Abang's former school, the great MCKK earlier (yes, it's awesomely great. Plus their canteen also sells the best air sirap). It feels weird just passing it by without entering. It's like our trip there wasn't complete without Abang :(

So that was it. Although it was too short, I had a fabulous time in my beloved Kuala Kangsar. I shall go visit again and again sooner or later (:

O Big Tree, we shall meet again soon :')

the house of open

2009-10-04T10:06:00.008+08:00

Friday's open house was awesome. Most of the people I invited came, and terima kasih banyak diucapkan (: My mom cooked nasi minyak and maggi goreng for us. She was very proud of her nasi minyak because she said she hadn't cooked it for a long while, but both nasi and the lauks taste perfect. Haha.

Nadiah was the first one to arrive. She came at 2 to help my mom and me prepare. Turned out my mom did pretty much everything when I was at school, so there was nothing much to do. In the end, we just sit and play Hangman. Then Nini arrived. When we were playing Nadiah's batu seremban, Azeem came.

They didn't really want to eat so early, because there were only four of us. Plus I've already eaten. So we just hang around and played Hangman where Nini was the woman who hangs. But poor Nini didn't get to hang anybody because her words were super easy, including KUIH RAYA and BIRMINGHAM. Hahaha :D

When they were picking up food, I went to Nadiah and studied her plate. "Tiga ringgit setengah," I said. Azeem who was in front of us, dropped the senduk and said, "Alaa, kena bayar ke? Kalau macam tu tak payah makan la,". I bursted into a giggle. He then said, "Ni bukan open house. Ni open shop,"

Even after they finished their food, the others still haven't arrived. It was already 4 o'clock. I was staring at my phone clock and grumbling when Nini said, "Janji Melayu kalau pukul 3, pukul 4 lebih baru sampai,". Oh well.

Azeem had to leave early because he has another open house to attend. We had our funny apologising-handingduitraya session which Nadiah laughed hardly at. Then, at around 4.10 when the three of us were playing batu seremban, Daia arrived. She joined us and we played in group. Both Nini and me sucked. Even after Nadiah and Daia had passed three games, we didn't even reached batu tangkap -.-"

Sheela then arrived with Ruhil. And so did Sze Ting, Jessica and her cute little brother, Benjamin (whom we called Jamin =P). Then with the help of Nadiah, I saw Ker and Adip standing not far from my house. I called them in, but they said they were waiting for Wan. The girls were picking up food when the boys finally came in. They went straight to the sofa and self-servicing themselves with the kuih rayas. I went to them and joked, "Oi, orang tak sempat nak ajak korang dah makan eh?"

Nico and Sawi who was picked up by Wan arrived some time later at around 4.30. When I was watching Daia played Hangman with Sze Ting and Sawi, I glanced at my phone clock and suddenly realized Lukman wasn't there yet. He promised me to come at 4 after his class ends. He replied my text and said his class hasn't ended but he'll come at 5.

All of us were busy playing Hangman (with 5 Amanah theme) when suddenly Wan called me and said Hijaz was outside. Well, he was just dropping off Lukman. Yes, he finally arrived.

We all had a good time playing 5 Amanah themed Hangman. Among the words used were Pn Erwani's CALCULATOR HELP ME and SHOBA KUMAR by Daia, and DARWINAWATY by me. There was this one time when we guessing Nadiah's word, and Lukman who was sitting on the sofa by door eating suddenly called out, "Saya putar, Halim!" :D

Sawi became the center of attention of my mom because he didn't eat anything. He can't eat the nasi minyak, maggi goreng, kuih raya and even the keropok. Finally it ouccured to her that the pudding was eggless. Sawi then immediately went up and fill the pudding in his plate.

Besides that, Jamin also attracted the limelight. Seriously he was cute, especially when he said "Takde.." when we were guessing his word. =P

hujan bunga

2009-09-27T14:12:00.003+08:00

Have you heard of Ana Raffali?

I first knew about her through The Star's R.AGE column. There was a big photo of her wearing a lovely cream baju kebaya and holding a beautiful mahogany-coloured guitar. That photo really attracted my attention. A few days later, I searched for her song, Hujan Bunga di Kuala Lumpur in YouTube. I was instantly mesmerized.

Ana was an English teacher, believe it or not. But then, she realized that she loves writing songs and singing more than she loves teaching. Most of her songs are in Bahasa Malaysia, attributed to her love of her native language. Besides, she usually wears baju kurung or baju kebaya when performing as "they are more comfortable".

She opened my eyes to see that my native language is beautiful. She made me realized that everyone looks dazzling in our traditional clothes. She inspired me to write more wonderful songs. Most importantly, she taught me to just be myself and feel good about it.

Just watch this number, and you'll understand why I fell in love with her (:

Magda, don't go :(

2009-09-19T21:15:00.002+08:00

I wish I have a photo of me with Magda.

Since I was in primary school, I've always wanted a red Honda Odyssey. Whenever I'm on road with my family, I would stare at any Odyssey that passes us with much desire. I don't know why I like that van so much, I just simply love it.

At school, I was sort of jealous with my old friend Adam (yes, that Adam Roslan) because he has a red Honda Odyssey. After school ended, we all would hurry to our respective parents who were waiting at the canteen or in the car. Often, I would glance at Adam with his red Odyssey.

Years later, Abah finally decided on getting a van for us. However, vans are quite expensive, he said. So, after much thinking, he decided to buy a re-con one. He went to this site somewhere in KL to browse through the vans. There, he found a suitable van for us - spacious, in good condition, not too expensive and the brand he loves most. He found a red Honda Odyssey.

He took my mom to that place about twice, before he brought me along. When I first laid my eyes on that Odyssey, I immediately fell in love with her. She was everything I wished for. Then, the salesman, Mike Tay let us looked around inside the van. No word can explain how I felt back then.

Several years have passed. Now, Magda is not as convenient for us as much as before. Kaklong and Abang both are away; one in Kuantan while the other in Sydney. Kakngah is getting a car of her own very soon. Plus, Abah now prefer to drive Paulo even for long distances. So, poor Magda is always left at home.

Abah is thinking of selling Magda.

I love Magda. Although I do think that she is too big and spacious for us now, I am still happy to travel with her. Besides seeming so motherly, she makes me feel cool. I also have some kind of special bond with her, because almost everytime we travel long-distance, I would sit alone with my thoughts at the back with my MP3/Charli on. It's like I have my own space.

I love Magda. I don't want her to go. Although I'm not sure myself whether I can drive her on my own later, I still want her to be around.

I love Magda. I don't want her to go. I hope Abah won't sell her :(

80% thrilled but...

2009-09-16T13:51:00.002+08:00

...still a bit upset

the sun will rise again

2009-08-27T12:35:00.001+08:00

the signal that changes from red to green
in the midst of a journey of no return
I want to go forward believing in tomorrow
alone in this evening shower
there may be times when I stop and look back
but I won't be afraid of anything

spotted: I and S together, unafraid of being spotted

2009-08-21T15:18:00.003+08:00

Oi Nico, you must protect me if he wants to kill me :P

standing ovation

2009-08-17T14:05:00.006+08:00

After the jaw-dropping first set, breathtaking second set, and nail biting third and final set, you finally had to wave the white flag to Andy. Never mind though, you fought until the end, that's what matters most.

Just remember, "sometimes it takes a loss to get you stronger" :)

Bella Luna (:

2009-08-15T12:26:00.003+08:00

ATT:

In order to raise money for my Luna Fund, I'd like to announce here that I'll be selling photos of people around school that I have snapped; random or not. Price is yet to be announced. Therefore, if you are interested to buy some photos to be kept as memories which you will cherish in the years to come, you may find me, select the pictures and place your orders.

Thank you. Your kindness will always be remembered :)

of ulat bulu and its one thousand feet

2009-08-08T11:33:00.001+08:00

an open letter to Ms Spears

2009-08-07T16:10:00.003+08:00

Dear Britney,

People says, there will come a point in our lives where a small thing which we had never took much notice before will change the rest of our lives forever. Well, that point had came into mine, and that something was you.

About a year ago, I watched you in your documentary, Britney: For The Record. To be honest, I didn't watch the whole thing, just a bit here and a bit there. But I watched this part, where the reporter interviewed you during the shooting of Circus music video. I couldn't catch what he asked you (but I'm pretty sure he asked you about your transformation from a troubled person to a better one), and I didn't remember your full answer, but I remember this one line. One line that changed the way I live my life. One line that changed me.

You simply said, I choose to be a happy person.

After hearing that, I was actually wordless. I spent days thinking about what you had said. I started to reflect back. You know, about my life, the person I've been and the person I wanted to be. You see, I was not a happy person. But after hearing your simple words, my mind was flooded with the thought, 'I want to be happy too'. I think and re-think of the idea of being happy again over and over. Then, I began to make my moves. I cleaned the mess that had been mounted in my brain, I removed all negativities in my mind, and I get rid every hatreds that had darken my life before. There was nothing else left, but peace in my heart.

Now, I am a much happier person. I started to get to know more people and befriend the ones actually used to dislike before. And you know what? They aren't bad at all. I discovered new things and experiences. I am leading a happy life.

Thank you, Britney, for that simple answer of yours. It was just a simple line containing five simple words. Yet those words had changed my life forever. I hope you too are as happy as I am now.

A blessed supporter of yours,

Shahida:)

beautiful silence

2009-08-01T14:00:00.004+08:00

All of a sudden, the crowd dissolved. And there he was, the person I was searching for, in the middle of the now desolated field. There he was, laughing his warm, happy laugh. And suddenly, I don't hear anything anymore. The excitement, the roar of laughter, the cheerings, the screams - everything else vanished in a blink of eye. There was nothing else, except for him, and his laugh.

have you ever realized how beautiful this ad is?

2009-07-30T18:04:00.003+08:00

Yes, I actually shed some tears when I watched it just now. I've watched it many times before, but I had never really pay full attention to this simple yet meaningful ad. Just take some moment and dive into this, people.

17

2009-07-25T15:36:00.006+08:00

I finally turned 17 today. Alhamdulillah.

This year is so much different from last year. This year I became a person that I know I would be proud of in the next 30 years. I grew up, and I have matured. Therefore, I'd like to thank the people who have played such important roles in making me a better person today. I also would like to thank:

Mi, for singing for me yesterday and this morning. Thanks also for being such a considerate mother and returned home before my birthday arrives. I love you, golden mommy (:

Nadiah, for sending me two texts wishing me a happy birthday. Thanks also for calling me one and half hour earlier to wish me because you were sleepy. I love you, honey (:

Dayang, for texting me minutes after 12 o'clock (according to my phone). Thanks for saving a few cents to text me. I know how poor you are. Haha. I love you, honey (:

Nico, for wishing me twice, a day earlier. Thanks also for texting me this morning. I love you, HSBC (:

Shoba, for wishing me a day earlier. Thanks also for giving me a nice hug. I love you, deskmate (:

Darwin, for wishing me shy-shy-catly a day earlier. I will never forget how you said it. I love you, class mascot (:

Nini, for calling me, screamed my name and wished me in the middle of the night. Thanks also for giving me a kiss on the cheek yesterday, and for giving me hugs today. I love you, honey (:

Aisy, for texting me twice. Thanks also for screaming Happy Birthday very loudly this morning. We're SO 17! I love you, Aisiyah (:

Sheela, for texting me this morning. Thanks also for being concerned at me these past few days. I love you, buddy (:

M, for remembering my birthday and wishing me this morning. Thanks also for working hard for the tarik tali competition. Second place is still awesome, man. I love you, buddy (:

Abang, for texting me at almost the exact same time as last year. Thanks also for being the most wonderful abang I could ever asked for. I love you, big brother (:

Kaklong, for texting me quite late for a sister. Haha. Thanks also for introducing me to Arashi nine years ago. I love you, big sister (:

Lukman, for being so happy to get my muffins yet so guilty for being the one who's receiving a gift. Haha. Thanks for still wishing me although you just found out it this afternoon. Thanks also for always helping me and making me laugh during Taekwondo. I love you, awesome friend (:

Daia, for texting me once I got home padahal I spent almost the whole morning with her. Haha. Thanks also for remembering and for being such a great captain. I love you, kawan lama (:

Kakngah, for wishing me on Facebook. Whaatt la -_-" Thanks also for letting me watch Niji for the first ever time. I love you, KakngahP (:

Azeem, for remembering my birthday and texting me. Thanks also for being my "biggest fan". I really had fun with you in the SR room last Thursday. I love you, Adam (:

Persona, for BEING THE OVERALL CHAMPION! You made my day. Tak sia sia I ran around covered with flour screaming and cheering until I almost lost my voice. I love you, team (:

To the others whom wished me as well but I did not mention here (it's either I had forgotten or I just want to make it shorter:P) , I thank you, too. I had a blast on this year's birthday. I love you guys with alll my heart (:

spirit of the champion

2009-07-25T15:25:00.003+08:00

PERSONA ROCKS!

Ps, I'm tanned! Haiyo. I knew I shouldn't wear a three-quarter -_-"

ss-ing day

2009-07-24T21:26:00.006+08:00

Today was fun:D

First we had this senamrobik thingummy early in the morning. Before we started the poco-poco dance, Nadiah asked me how to dance poco-poco. I told her it's like how we did during Khemah Ibadah. But then she said she didn't really follow it that day. So after having a quick lesson, she came up with her own version of poco-poco dance - the pocong-pocong dance. Haha. It's pretty much the same as the original one, but instead of dancing, you actually have to jump with your hands held out in front:P

Then, after the senamrobik thingummy had finished, all of us were in a hyper mood. We all stand outside our class and feel the wind. It's really fun, you know. Just stand there among each other, hold your hands out, close your eyes, feel the wind passing through your body, and laugh together:)

Next, we had a photography session. Like Nico said, we all became such ss and just snap snap snap. We did so many quierky yet funny poses. 5A rocks:D

In between the photography session, we had an eating session. I brought muffins for everyone, and that hyper-ed them up more. Haha. Many were so shy shy cat to take another and another muffin, especially Darwin. Nadiah, Nico and Nini were so happy to receive my special smiley muffins. I just wished I succeeded giving one to that another person I had in mind. But well. After my muffins, Daia brought out her cute mini JCos. Nico was all hyper-ed up and ran around the class holding his Oreology. You were so cute, Nico Fox;D

But well, everything good and fun must come to an end right? After recess ended, some teachers rudely asked us to go to the dewan for the Isra' Mikraj ceramah. Not that I have a thing on ceramahs, but they really shouldn't ruined our hyperness, right?

Thanks for this lovely early birthday present, Nini (:

on the board

2009-07-24T20:03:00.000+08:00

breathless

2009-07-19T21:31:00.004+08:00

Sometimes we imagine things to be so perfectly beautiful and completely flawless. But at times, imaginations can be very scary, and they can let us down once Reality opens its door.

Rest In Peace, Sawi Jackson :'(

2009-07-10T15:05:00.004+08:00

Presenting, our Sawi Jackson Project :)

To my teammates;
Nico: Thanks for lending us your house to brainstorm our ideas and practice. Thanks for helping me choosing the right song after Sawi's death. Thanks for the great ideas. You're awesome:)
Nini: Thanks for being such a creative leader. Thanks for your drawings. Thanks for showing Sawi the right moves and way to die. Thanks for the great ideas. You're awesome:)
Ker: Thanks for being patient with our absurdness. Thanks for your shitty face when measuring Sawi's body using your hands (although you didn't do it during the real presentation). Thanks for the great ideas. You're awesome:)
Sawi: Thanks for willing to be the great Sawi Jackson. Thanks for listening to our stupid, crazy ideas. Thanks for actually giving us the idea of doing a Michael Jackson-inspired sketch. Thanks for the great moves. You're awesome.

To Aisy;
Thanks for willing to spend time with us and giving us great ideas even though you're not doing the presentation. Thanks for being a good advisor. You are a part of us too. You're awesome:)

To my mom and Kakngah;
Thanks for borrowing me the flowers, the lab coat, the fake mobile phone and so much more. You're awesome:)

To Aeman;
Thanks for borrowing us your cap. You're awesome:)

To Lukman;
Thanks for borrowing us your guitar to practice. We didn't use it anyway. You're awesome:)
To Syamin;
Thanks for recording the video for me. You're awesome:)

To Yuga;
Thanks for willing to be the one at the computer to play the songs during the sketch. You're awesome:)

To 5 Amaniahans and Pn Norsham;
Thanks for your support and cheering for us. Thanks for laughing out very loud and being sad at the end of the sketch. Thanks for understanding our performance. You're awesome:)

life is a song to sing along (:

2009-07-09T20:35:00.000+08:00

Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all

oh simple thing, where have you gone?

2009-07-04T16:24:00.004+08:00

On the second day of Khemah Ibadat, I learned two things that people always take for granted: the joy of camaraderie and the free feeling of loosing yourself up.

In the middle of the activity organized by one of the facilitators, Abang Syukri, he asked us all to stand up to dance the poco-poco dance. I loathed, despised, detested, abominated, abhorred and hated that dance, until that time. Before the dance started, all of us were standing with our own group members. Lukman, my group leader, was standing beside me, and he asked what is poco-poco. Then, after it started, everybody ran away to be with their friends. I turned and saw Lukman and my other group members were gone, so I went to join Nadiah. When I was still thinking whether to join dancing or not, suddenly I saw him dancing exagerratedly with the facilitators. It's true. His dance was more like dangdut rather than poco-poco. Everyone laughed at him, and even the facilitators were surprised. At first I taught maybe our would be given extra marks for his sporting-ness. But then I watched him and I taught, maybe once in a while, it's good to loose yourself up. I looked around and I saw happy faces. So I thought, why not try this? Why not forget my dislike towards this dance and just let go?

And I did. I joined in and followed the steps, and I laughed along with them. And let me tell you something, it was fun. It was soo fun doing something I used to think as silly and time wasting with the people that we're happy with. It feels good to just let go and loosing up.

True camaraderie is wonderful. At the end of the camp, we all stood up and sing the Warisan song together. It was such a simple song, but the way we all sing it was priceless. Everyone was standing together, arm-in-arms. It was such a nice view, you know. Suddenly there were no lines that lie between us. It didn't occur to any one of us whether we have the best or not. It didn't matter to any one of us if we have the worst voice. Everybody was just singing their lungs out. It was such a joyous feeling, you know. We can't have that kinda chance to be one everyday.

PS, Nico, I take back my word. My bozone layer is thick, but I can be motivationalizable sometimes (:

this post is dedicated to Nicholas Keevan Fox

2009-06-29T20:14:00.002+08:00

The young man who just wanted to give Megan Fox a rose will get a second chance to do so. Fox was touched by the footage of Harvey, a London schoolboy, looking crestfallen when she walked straight past him on the red carpet recently.

Harvey Kindlon, 11, who spells his name "Harvii" on Facebook, has been offered a trip to Los Angeles to meet her. When Fox learned of the incident, she blamed it on the glare of flash bulbs, saying she did not see the boy. "I'm sorry, sweet boy. I would never do that to you and I would gladly accept your rose if I see you again.... The paparazzi would not let you to me. I'm so embarrassed," she lamented. A Canadian who reportedly tracked down Harvey on the networking site will also be rewarded - with $5,000.

Provided by: Philippa Bourke / Splash News

bubble in the bathtub

2009-06-25T16:49:00.004+08:00

A new lady teacher came to teach standard 2 students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby. She said, " Let's start with the boys first."

Boys start giving their intro...

First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting. Well, OK. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's OK John. Yes, next."

Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. OK next. "

Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. OK next."

This continues...

and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub. "

Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach immature boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please. "

First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."

Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."

Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."

Teacher: "Now it's like educated grown up girls. OK, next. You sweet girl; Yes you... "

Most beautiful girl of the class: "Madam, my name is 'Bubble', and my hobby is to take bath three times a day."

The teacher fainted.

hold me as I fall

2009-06-17T21:58:00.002+08:00

Baby it's you
When I look up in the sky I see you
Then I turn and close my eyes
It's you
When I'm sitting all alone in my room
Everything reminds me of you

the door to so much more

2009-06-13T21:37:00.003+08:00

Have you ever close your eyes and just let your imagination flies beyond your thought? Do that once in a while, it's really good.

Sit or lie somewhere comfortable, alone if you can, and close your eyes. Imagine yourselves surrounded by beautiful things beyond your explanation. Think of something you've always wanted to do. Think of some place you've always wanted to go. Think of yourselves being someone you've always dreamed to be.

Think of something you've always wished to have.

Imagine that thing is right in front of you. Imagine suddenly, you have a pair of beautiful wings attached behind you, and all you have to do is spread it as wide as possible to reach for that one thing.

Forget about your fears - things that frighten you, people who laughs at you - forget all of them. Remember only one thing, that if you try hard enough, you may just get the thing you're wishing for.

And there, there you have it, your imaginations have gone beyond your thought. And you, may be as good, or better, than what you think you are:)

of digging graves, escaping deaths, and fighting until the end

2009-06-11T12:54:00.003+08:00

I'm not a fan of war movies, in fact I hate them. But I really think you people should watch this one.

tears fallen

2009-06-08T22:45:00.004+08:00

empty code, or is it?

2009-06-07T17:58:00.006+08:00

I always think. I would find myself thinking, whenever, or wherever I am. Even in a crowd of loud people, or when I'm watching something. When I'm in a thinking mood, I'd always put on my serious face. I would stare at a certain point, and just be silent. Everything else is blocked out - just me and my thought. Except for the wrinkles on my forehead that would appear every time I think, my face is totally expressionless. But when my face is serious, people would look at me and say that I'm cold, unfriendly and arrogant. So, should I stop thinking?