noona neomu yeppeoseo

Not.

Haha. Joking. Okay, let's get serious.


Dear Dayang,

How long have we known each other? Eight years? Well if you remember correctly, I have known you more than that. I was always watching you with your friends even before we actually befriended each other. I don't know why, but somehow you got my attention. Eventually, we got into the same class and I finally made a move to say hi to you properly.

We had so much being classmates in 2002. We were just 10 at that time, and you had a not-so-secret admirer who peeked in our class to have a look at you each time he had free period. I always think you guys were funny, that's why I willingly became the middle person. Eventually, I became close with the boy, and we remain as good acquaintances even after you moved (and fyi he was the one who introduced me to my eventual stalker!). Oh, remember that time during Science class? Our teacher Cikgu Zulkarnain gave us a work. It was something about doing experiment report. One of the questions was to name the animals which were labelled P, Q, R, S and T. Of course, being too clever, we made up our own guesses based on the initials. We tried so hard to think what animal whose name starts from letter Q. I laughed so hard each time I recalled of that.

Well, things don't always work out as planned. Although we were so close, somehow we grew apart. We stopped spending time together, and we started hanging out with different people. Truth is, I was always glancing at you and wished I was brave enough to get things right between us. I foolishly hoped that someday we would be close again. I wish too much sometimes, and before I could do anything, you moved.

After you moved, I regretted being such a coward. I regretted not doing the things I should do. I regretted not saying goodbye to you properly. I regretted not hugging you so tight. I regretted everyday.

About a couple of years after you moved, I found you through Friendster. I was afraid at first. I am always afraid of the past. That's one thing that keeps bothering me. But well, you just kept messaging me like nothing had ever happened. Then I eventually thought maybe I was just exaggerating things. Through the wonderful thing called Internet, we instantly became close again. This time we're closer than ever. Maybe it's the distance. There even were days where we chatted everyday. It's like we never ran out of things to say to each other.

But I am never a good friend, although I call myself one. Even to me, it seems like all we talk about is involving me and my life and my friends and my crushes and what I like and what I don't like. I am a selfish friend, I know. I never asked you how's your school life, who's your good friend there, and even how's your feeling. It's always about me. I go around and tell the world that you're my best friend. But you know, I always ask myself, have I been a good friend? You don't really tell me what's happening in your life that often. You didn't even tell me you broke up with that I-am-so-going-to-kick-his-butt-once-I-meet-him Aaron. Not that I want to make you feel bad, but that made me wonder, where do I stand in your heart that you didn't even tell me such an important thing?

Maybe I bothered you so much with Al and Nino. Haha.

Well speaking of Nino, what happened to our agreement? Didn't we promise to get to know each other's true love? It looks like we both had forgotten about it. At least I can tell the members apart now. How about you?

You know, I can't remember the last time we have serious talk. I mean really serious issues. It seems that all we talk about are Nino, Seunggi, Nino again, Minho, Seunggi again, Nino again, Minho again, Jun, Minho again, Seunggi again, Nino again, Arashi and Big Bang. Oh yeah, and Taeyang. Haha! We talk too much about them. Even Amira complained her home wall is full with our tweets. Maybe we should tone down, girl. Or find some other subjects.

I don't know what else is there to type down here. You know we don't have much memories together. The only one that has always stayed strong in my head, and will always will, is the times we spent in class playing the game we call titik. We play it extraordinarily and with style. And for that, I can't bring myself to play with other people apart from you nowadays. They can never understand our tradition.

Well then Happy 18^th Birthday my friend. Hope you will enjoy my present. Onew once said, "I don't really want to be the best. I just want to be someone I won't be ashamed of,". So be someone you'll be proud of and do things you won't regret later. But don't be afraid to make mistakes. You'll learn much more from that.

You most probably are watching 1 Night and Two Days aka Seunggi right now. I'm telling you, kiddie jump that goes with dimpled smiles are the best ;)


PS hands off my Minho!