two years of happiness

Happy (belated) birthday Charli de Lauro! :)

Well, of course it's not really your birthday. But it's been two years we're together. And I hope we can stay together for as looong as possible!

I really love you, though you're not perfect :)

the wind that wraps

Last Tuesday, while waiting for the clock to turn 3.30, I couldn't help glancing around to see the people around me. I thought, these are the people I've been together with. Some I've known since forever, some I just met or got close with this year, while the others are the kind of friends that I catch up with once in a while. But all of them are precious to me.

I love saying thank yous. I believe by just saying a simple thank you, you can change a frown into a smile. So now, I would like to say my words of gratitude to these people, who have made my life a beautiful one :)


Thank you Nadiah, for always being with me. You supported me on almost everything I do, and when I failed or came across obstacles that had me shed tears, you lent me your shoulder and gave me courage to move on. Thank you for trusting me to listen to your secret, silent thoughts and dreams. Thank you also for the fangirling moments. Haha. I looked forward to go to school everyday so that I can ramble about JE stuffs with you :D I know you love Chinen and Yabu and Hikaru as much as you love Jin, but you see dear Nadiaho, Jin suits you better :) Haha. Oh yea, go Shida! :P
I love you, best friend.

Thank you Dayang, for always listening to my stories although you live across the sea. Sometimes I feel like you're here and you know everything about my school and my friends. Thank you for cheering me up when I'm down, and injecting more hyperness in me. Thank you for introducing me to the sweet honey bee Seunggi. His dimples surely kill. But don't worry, he's all yours. I already have Nino by my side. Haha. Oh yea, you know, you should bring Aaron to me so that I can use my taekwondo skills to kick him and send him to the Antartica :D
I love you, best friend.

Thank you Nicholas, for willing to lend your ears to hear (or eyes to read) my dreamy thoughts and pathetic mumbles. Thank you also for the music recommendations. I'm sorry I don't like Lady Gaga and many of your recommendations, but at least we agreed on some. Remember "Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts"?. Haha. That's one of my favourite lyrics ever. Thank you for following me sneaking to TGV to take a picture of you and Megan. I hope someday when I've gotten rich, I can fly you to Hollywood to meet her :)
I love you, HSBC.

Thank you Nini, for always being so happy and cheerful. In a way, you help putting a smile on my face. Thank you for actually helping me to become more open to people around me. I gained confidence and got to know many good friends through you. Thank you for acting like a big sister to me, although you're much younger. I really appreciate your presence beside me. You know, I'm much more hyper, crazier, friendlier, bravier and happier because of you :) I hope someday I can meet the other Shida at your house. Haha.
I love you, big younger sister.

Thank you Shoba, for not minding my unpredictable craziness. I wish things went clear between you and Darwin. Haha. Well, at least you've found the person who loves you now. I'm sorry for getting annoyed at you sometimes. You know, sometimes I can't deal with so much sighs and kvetches. Thank you for being a great deskmate, although you always leave me alone. Haha. Thank you for being crazy and childish with me at times. The syair we sang together was rather absurd than beautiful. We're Basho and Dashi after all. Who can blame us? :D
I love you, deskmate.

Thank you 5 Amanahians, for being the best class I've ever been in. Your unpredictable weather was always surprising, but it never failed to make me laugh. Surely we had dramas, but hey, we wouldn't be the same without the dramas, right? They sort of bonded us together :) Thank you for the loudness. We had such a looong year. Dissecting the frogs, washing cars and playing hangman at my house seems years ago. I miss having everyone altogether in class. Haha. "We're just one big family", so keep contacting each other, OK?
I love you, classmates.

Thank you Azeem, for being such a good friend. Your happy-go-luckyness never failed to cheer me up. I wish I knew you sooner :) Thank you for supporting me on Luna, although all you contributed was RM2 and some encouraging words. Well, maybe that should be enough. Haha. Thank you for presenting your friend's black guitar to me. Was it Gemilang that you sang while playing it? The sumbangness of your voice made my day. Haha. Thank you for directing such a cool drama. In a way, you made that (not so) secret ambition of mine came true. Thank you for being such a big fan of my food and always came running everytime I mention that four-letter word :D You know, you are such a wonderful boy. I wish you'll find your girl in red soon. Who knows? Maybe she's just right around the corner :)
Thank you, toyboy. Haha.

Thank you Keisha, for being an awesome editor and tuition mate. Your sarcasm always made me laugh. Thank you for loving my writings for the school magazine. You know, one of the proudest moment in my life was when everyone clapped for me after you read the prologue and epilogue I wrote for me. I can't thank you enough for that :) Thank you for always asking questions during tuition. They helped me a lot. Thank you for hating the Gardenia song, because singing the song to you and watching you getting irritated always made my day. Hahaha :D Don't forget to "Pin pin, Shidaaa" in front of my house once you've got your driving license.
I love you, K.

Thank you Sze Ting, for being a good friend to me since Form 1. You were always nice to me that I wished I could do something in return to you. Thank you for not minding Shoba and me in class. We know we were loud. Thank you for always telling me about good books. You know, I really hope I could understand Chinese so that I can read your books. Haha. Thank you for being such a darling in 5A. Being with you along with Jess, Endarah and the others always made me burst out laughing. Oh yea, I hope the big bantal I gave you four years ago is still in a good condition. Haha :D
I love you, Tingtong.

Thank you Lukman, for being such a wonderful friend. Although you annoyed me for coming late for taekwondo every week, you actually paid back with your amazing kicks and swings. Haha. Thank you for introducing me to the beauty of guitar in a way that even you didn't realize. Watching you play was just like a simple clarity to me. Thank you for taking time to read my scribbling book, and liking them. Thank you for being so delighted everytime I did some nice things to you. It made me feel like doing it more. Haha. Thank you for being someone who makes the people around you feels safe. You are a person with a big heart :)
I love you, Lutetium.

Thank you Daia, for staying as a friend for 10 years now. You were the first person who came to me and said hi during our first day in primary. Thank you for helping me with so many things. Thank you for inserting me regularly in your plans. Nico's birthday celebration was awesome. I hope all of us can do things like that again. Thank you for being so thin and active. You gave me the inspiration to work out more. Haha. I hope we can stay as friends more 10 more years :)
I love you, old friend.

Thank you Aisyah, for always being there for me to annoy. I understand how deep your love for nasi lemak. But I'm telling you girl, don't eat too much, it's not healthy for you. Thank you for helping me with things once in a while, especially during the Sawi Jackson project. Your brilliant ideas helped our team a lot :) Thank you for giving me hugs. Your hugs made me feel very warmed. Thank you for your sarcasm. It sometimes brightened up my day. You see, I'm much more sarcastic now because of you. You're my tok guru. Haha :D
I love you, Aisy.

Thank you Imran, for being a funny friend. I'm sure not many knows that. Thank you for your sarcasm against Mr Param in class. I still remember the way you said "Satu penemuan baru" when Azif and Naura said they had never heard of decible and "A is wrong" when he didn't respond at your answer just like he always says them. Hahaha. You upset me when you said you quitted tuition, because the class is much funnier with you around. Thank you for resembling Nishiki although you have no idea who on earth he was :D
I love you, on-and-off tuition mate.

Thank you Sarah, for being a wonderful friend. Thank you for your help handling the taekwondo kids for me. I wouldn't know how to control them without you. Seriously, they listened to you more. Thank you for being my partner during the lessons. Seeing your powerful kicks and swings made me work harder, so that I can be as good as you. Thank you for your beautiful smiles. They always made my days brighter. I bet once you've taken our braces off, you'll look much prettier :)
I love you, girl.

Thank you M, for the super delicious tiramisu. I should get close with you sooner, so that I can ask you to make it more often. Hahaha. I still haven't made the tiramisu using your recipe though. Mascarpone cheese is too expensive -__- Thank you for being my sarcasm partner. I love being sarcastic around you. Haha :D Thank you for actually being so cool right before SPM. Although it was funny seeing you like that, you somehow made me calm.
I love you, food lover.

Thank you Naura, for being such a darling. Your sneeze is an epic. Haha. Thank you for the 'informations' you gave me during trials. "Apa saja demi trial", right? Thank you for making Physics class funner. One of the reasons I looked forward for Physics classes every week was you. Thank you for your sarcasm. Funny sarcasms make my day :D I'm really going to miss you, girl.
I love you, girl in pink.

I still have more. I will update it soon :)

apart

Lexie: Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.
Mark: It isn’t just death we have to grieve. It’s life. It’s loss. It’s change.
Alex: And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.
Izzie: That’s how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can’t breathe, that’s how you survive.
Derek: By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won’t feel this way. It won’t hurt this much.
Bailey: Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way.
Owen: So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.
Meredith: The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can’t control it.
Arizona: The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes.
Callie: And let it go when we can.
Meredith: The very worst part is that the minute you think you’re past it, it starts all over again.
Cristina: And always, every time, it takes your breath away.
Meredith: There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five.
Alex: Denial.
Derek: Anger.
Bailey: Bargaining.
Lexie: Depression.
Chief: Acceptance.

for the person whose eyes twinkle :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Although I just found out about your birthday last Friday, I'm still glad that I did. Because I managed to give you a surprise call in the middle of the night :D

Once again, happy birthday! Keep being the good person I've always known. Keep smiling because your smiles do wonders to me and the people around you. Keep strumming your guitar because it made a lot of people happy whether you know it or not. Most important of all, keep being the person I know I can always turn to, because you actually make me feel safe :)

Love, Shida :)

may be forever

the end

Do you know why I try the hardest that I could to go to school everyday these days? Like everyone knows, we Form 5s are getting closer to end our school days.

Honestly, the idea of not going to school anymore scares me, although that is what I have been dreaming of. We go to school everyday knowing what to expect, or at least, we can have the ideas of what's going to happen. We know who are we going to meet. We know where we are heading to with each step we take. We know that we are going a place we are familiar with, or for some, feel safe at.

I didn't like going to school, and I couldn't wait to graduate from school. But ever since I watched this scene in One Tree Hill a few years ago, suddenly my eyes became wide open of what school is to many of the students. In that scene, the school counselor asked Brooke about her plan for college. Here's what she said: "The truth is I don't really like to think about college, 'cause that means high school's over. After graduation, everyone will probably go play basketball or sing or start record labels. And I'll have to start all over. Alone."

That made me think. School is a safe place, whether you realize it or not. Like I already mentioned, we know what to expect in school, but not outside. I don't know what to expect later. I don't know whether I'll get to meet my friends again. I don't know how we all will change. I don't know whether things can stay same. Some, at least, if not all. And the truth is, I'm kind of scared about the future.

And that's why I try hard to go to school every single day. I don't have much time left to cherish everything I have now. Therefore, I want to make use every minute of it very wisely now, so that I will know, I did have my own safe place once. I'll also know that I have priceless memories about one of the best times of my life :')

of Kuala Kangsar and Cendol of the World

Yesterday, together my auntie, her husband and my nenek saudara, my family and I went on a trip to Kuala Kangsar. Actually, it just began with us going to attend a distant relative's wedding in Ipoh. Then we all had this idea to continue our journey to Kuala Kangsar since it has been ages since we last go there. Abah was reluctant to go at the first place, but he had to give up since we all urged him to =P

Well, I have been wanting to go there for months. I really love it there. To be honest, I love Kuala Kangsar more than I love my kampung.

On our way there, I already had this vision of that something I've been craving for so long: the world's greatest Cendol Kuala Kangsar. You see, everytime we went to send, visit or pick up Abang, we always always would stopped by this food court by the river. One of the stall sells the best cendol ever. Slllrrp.

We stopped at the mosque first. Seeing the Masjid Ubudiah, I remembered something else that I've been missing: one of the world's greatest ice cream. I had always been one of that pakcik aiskrim's most loyal customer ever since Abang was in Form 1. Armed with an old motorcycle with colourful umbrella and a tong of traditional ice cream, that pakcik awaits me patiently in front of the mosque. Here is a picture of that yummy ice cream:


After that, we went to the great food court. But since we were accompanied by my auntie, uncle and nenek saudara, I had to be more patient since they wanted to look around at the the souvenir shops. So while waiting for them, I just gazed at the stall wth my blurry eye and said, "wait for me, cendol."

Finally, Abah couldn't wait anymore. He decided to head to the stall first. So, of course the impatient me and Kakngah tagged along. When the waiter came to us to take our order, I blurted out "cendol!" right away. Hahaha. Here's a picture of the Cendol of the World:


Unfortunately, my tummy couldn't take much santan although I'm a big big big fan of the cendol. I only managed to slurp about three quarter of it before passing it to my mom. Oh well.

Of course, Abah passed by Abang's former school, the great MCKK earlier (yes, it's awesomely great. Plus their canteen also sells the best air sirap). It feels weird just passing it by without entering. It's like our trip there wasn't complete without Abang :(

So that was it. Although it was too short, I had a fabulous time in my beloved Kuala Kangsar. I shall go visit again and again sooner or later (:

O Big Tree, we shall meet again soon :')

the house of open

Friday's open house was awesome. Most of the people I invited came, and terima kasih banyak diucapkan (: My mom cooked nasi minyak and maggi goreng for us. She was very proud of her nasi minyak because she said she hadn't cooked it for a long while, but both nasi and the lauks taste perfect. Haha.

Nadiah was the first one to arrive. She came at 2 to help my mom and me prepare. Turned out my mom did pretty much everything when I was at school, so there was nothing much to do. In the end, we just sit and play Hangman. Then Nini arrived. When we were playing Nadiah's batu seremban, Azeem came.

They didn't really want to eat so early, because there were only four of us. Plus I've already eaten. So we just hang around and played Hangman where Nini was the woman who hangs. But poor Nini didn't get to hang anybody because her words were super easy, including KUIH RAYA and BIRMINGHAM. Hahaha :D

When they were picking up food, I went to Nadiah and studied her plate. "Tiga ringgit setengah," I said. Azeem who was in front of us, dropped the senduk and said, "Alaa, kena bayar ke? Kalau macam tu tak payah makan la,". I bursted into a giggle. He then said, "Ni bukan open house. Ni open shop,"

Even after they finished their food, the others still haven't arrived. It was already 4 o'clock. I was staring at my phone clock and grumbling when Nini said, "Janji Melayu kalau pukul 3, pukul 4 lebih baru sampai,". Oh well.

Azeem had to leave early because he has another open house to attend. We had our funny apologising-handingduitraya session which Nadiah laughed hardly at. Then, at around 4.10 when the three of us were playing batu seremban, Daia arrived. She joined us and we played in group. Both Nini and me sucked. Even after Nadiah and Daia had passed three games, we didn't even reached batu tangkap -.-"

Sheela then arrived with Ruhil. And so did Sze Ting, Jessica and her cute little brother, Benjamin (whom we called Jamin =P). Then with the help of Nadiah, I saw Ker and Adip standing not far from my house. I called them in, but they said they were waiting for Wan. The girls were picking up food when the boys finally came in. They went straight to the sofa and self-servicing themselves with the kuih rayas. I went to them and joked, "Oi, orang tak sempat nak ajak korang dah makan eh?"

Nico and Sawi who was picked up by Wan arrived some time later at around 4.30. When I was watching Daia played Hangman with Sze Ting and Sawi, I glanced at my phone clock and suddenly realized Lukman wasn't there yet. He promised me to come at 4 after his class ends. He replied my text and said his class hasn't ended but he'll come at 5.

All of us were busy playing Hangman (with 5 Amanah theme) when suddenly Wan called me and said Hijaz was outside. Well, he was just dropping off Lukman. Yes, he finally arrived.

We all had a good time playing 5 Amanah themed Hangman. Among the words used were Pn Erwani's CALCULATOR HELP ME and SHOBA KUMAR by Daia, and DARWINAWATY by me. There was this one time when we guessing Nadiah's word, and Lukman who was sitting on the sofa by door eating suddenly called out, "Saya putar, Halim!" :D

Sawi became the center of attention of my mom because he didn't eat anything. He can't eat the nasi minyak, maggi goreng, kuih raya and even the keropok. Finally it ouccured to her that the pudding was eggless. Sawi then immediately went up and fill the pudding in his plate.

Besides that, Jamin also attracted the limelight. Seriously he was cute, especially when he said "Takde.." when we were guessing his word. =P