eventually a day to smile will come

I am aware that there are people who read this blog, but still, I feel the need to write this, at least for my sake.

I have this friend. We met each other when we were just 7 years old. She was among the earliest friends I made, and shortly after she came and said hi to me, we became best friends. We have been told by a lot of people that we look alike. Not only that we were of the same height and have similar body proportions, but we also look very much Chinese. Plus, we did almost everything and went almost everywhere together. People used to call us twins.

Not all good things remain the same, do they?

Gradually, we began to grow. Unfortunately for me, she grew to be much taller, much skinnier and much prettier than me. On top of that, she became more and more like a butterfly as she has always been. She is good at everything she does. She is always better than me. On the other hand, I became the opposite of her. To use Blair's comparison, I was the Darth Vader while she's the Sunshine Barbie.

It was tough for me, especially around people who has known us ever since the beginning of our friendship. People compare us. They don't do that openly, but I know. I have always known that. Although our friendship didn't stay the same, although we grew apart, I have never had any hatred towards her. But you see, it was really hard. Sometimes without me realizing it, I despised her. I couldn't stand even standing beside her. We were very alike, but then we became very different. And I was the bad one.

Despite it all, I don't hate her. I never did.


Hey, D. If you're reading, know that I really cherish you. I cherish our times together. I cherish having you as my childhood friend. Don't feel bad because of what I wrote, because it made me stronger. Thank you for everything. Happy 12 years of friendship. Soon it'll be 13. I love you.